Marry Thyself

A few years ago, I watched a Lifetime movie (if you’re judging, you can kindly quit that right now! I know you’ve watched some questionable footage in your day..) about a woman who married herself. I could not have thought this idea was more ridiculous. I mean, the woman had a ceremony and everything. She walked herself down the aisle and greeted, well herself at the end of it. Tres bizarre. Many of her friends and family (Ma Dukes included if my memory serves me correctly) didn’t agree with her legally marrying herself because it was unheard of, it took her off the market for eligible bachelors, and it was, quite frankly, just plain weird. At viewing time, I would have had to agree that the leading lady was strange for her antics. A ceremony for herself seemed super ‘let your freak flag fly’ and apparently I wasn’t down for it in this case.

Fast-forward to present day.

I often think about that movie and how much I didn’t like it. I also find myself thinking about how much I’m thinking about that movie (whew, that’s a whole lotta brain werkin’ goin’ on). Here’s what I now think about the movie:

The woman was kind of a weirdo. Yes, I still find that she was a bit of a strange bird, but not because she wanted to marry herself. She just had antics, mannerisms, and ideas that I still don’t get. Don’t take this the wrong way- I love me some quirky, cooky peeps, just more so in real life than in Lifetime lala land.

Marrying yourself is pretty dope. Grandma/Mama advice: “You better learn to love yourself because you’re going to be with yourself for a very long time.” TRUTH. This movie woman was on some seriously radical wavelengths when she decided to marry herself. She made a commitment to herself that she would love and support herself every day for the rest of her life.

—> Are you committed to yourself for life? <—

If you need/want some direction on the self-love front, check out these two soul empowering folks:

Gala Darling

Gala is a pioneer for me. Her book, Love & Sequins, is a sparkly, fun, blunt way to navigate through some of the touchy parts of life. She’s a self-love queen ya’ll. Just go love her and check out her stuff.

Kute Blackson

This guy’s kind of my hero. His energy and thought processes always get me motivated. Even on days when my motivation is sky high, there’s always room for a little Kute action. Follow your hottie little heart to his piece on your relationship with yourself and get ready to get cozy with your soul.

Having a wedding ceremony for just yourself is both fantastically fascinating and obnoxious. Disclaimer: I LOVE weddings. Love ’em. The flowers, attire, food, and all other general appearances are great, but I especially love weddings because they symbolize and celebrate love (or at least they’re supposed to in my book). Squishy, honest, heartfelt love. The idea of having a ceremony all to myself though, makes my greedy side go ‘HEY GIRL HEY, we gon’ party up in here’! As much as I like to celebrate everything, most times I’d rather tone down my super fab Ego (no offense ‘E’, there’s a time and a place for everything/one) and skip the ceremony deal and just have a rockin’ dance party with my nearest and dearest. Perhaps if the movie gal would have had a dance off at a reception and been married there instead of the ceremony, I would have more energetically appreciated the situation.

I don’t actually remember if she married herself for real or not. Part of me thinks she did, but then I have this nagging feeling that she didn’t go through with it in the end. In the event that she didn’t go through with it, let’s just pretend she did for love’s sake, yah? πŸ˜‰

Today-and everyday- I challenge you to work on fully loving, accepting, and appreciating yourself. The funky, chunky, tiny, whiny, serious, delirious, funny, chummy–ALL of it.

ALL OF YOU.

Marry Thyself.

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5 thoughts on “Marry Thyself

  1. You’re right, it seems like an entirely absurd concept when you first hear of it… marrying yourself?! But, on a personal and philosophical level, it kind of… makes sense. The promise you make to be committed to yourself and your happiness is HUGE. And it’s so very important. I guess on a deeper level it’s easy to see why “marrying” oneself is something we should all be doing!

    Very interesting entry. πŸ™‚

  2. Wow! This really resonates with me! I used to freak out about the fact that all my friends were getting married, and I wasn’t. I worried myself like crazy over it, and everyone would say “well, you need to love yourself before anyone else can love you” and I used to get mad because “loving yourself” was not a legitimate excuse for bridal registry.

    At one point, I got so down about being single, and not feeling ‘loved’ that I cried for several days, continuously. Everyone’s ‘love yourself first’ words kept echoing in my head, so I wrote my self a letter, encouraging myself and telling myself all the things I wished I would hear ( can’t believe I just wrote that out loud), and it helped. Tremendously. I can’t say that I would ever have a ceremony to marry myself, or that it helped alleviate my desire for a bridal registry but, it did help πŸ™‚ Ironically, once I started taking care of myself, the relationship came…still need the bridal registry, but everything else is good πŸ™‚ Thanks for sharing this!

    • You are a gem! Thank you for sharing this with me! It really does seem frivolous and gets obnoxiously repetitious, but being ok with you has to come first. Always. That solid foundation of self-love has to be there or else the rest will crumble around it (even the really good stuff will lose some of its grip). I’m still waiting for my bridal registry too, but we’ll get there-lovin’ ourselves all the while! πŸ˜‰

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