“When people undermine your dreams, predict your doom or criticize you, remember they’re telling you their story, not yours.” ~Cynthia Occelli
Who was the last person to crush some dream of yours? If no one has ever done this to you, consider yourself more than lucky. Dream crushers aren’t fun, bubbly, sparkly things, but they can be crazy helpful. Thinking about this might be something more than you wish to take on at the present moment, but hang with me. I promise I’m not about to crush any of your latest dreams!
Most of us likely don’t fancy the ‘Negative Nancy’ side of folks that pops up to tell us why we’re wrong/impossible/foolish/worthless/etc. Often times though, these more negative emotions, actions, and reactions are simply a projection of what the other person would do if they were in our situation. To that I say, wonderful, thank you for your opinion, but I’ll kindly decline and do what I believe is best for me. Time and time again, the powers of Me have been tested by such opinions and thoughts. Time and time again, I have struggled to stick to my script. Time and time again, my feelings have been hurt. Time and time again, I have prevailed with new lessons, more gumption, and a thicker skin.
These ‘Negative Nancy’ peeps floating around the Universe are helpers though. They help in the sense that they are trying to present an idea or offer options (even if they’re totally off the mark of what you truly want to do) to aid in our decisions. We like to hear ourselves talk. We like to show our expertise (or perhaps, that self-imposed faux-expertise). At the end of the day however, all those opposing notions help us navigate our paths by offering glimpses into where we do and do not want to go. Even amidst all the ‘haterade’ folks seem to guzzle on the daily (yes, I’m guilty of tapping the well a bit too often some days also…), they’re still helpers.
Now, back to that dream crusher in your life. Think about why that person reacted to your dream the way he/she did. What were they projecting? What were they really trying to tell you? Maybe they were showing off their subconscious jealousy or perhaps they were trying to protect you from something. Think about it from their side. Yes, love. Slow your role and work your way into theirs.
Try this: If you have some residual negative feelings about a dream crusher, try writing this person a letter. Be as specific as possible about how they made you feel. Be honest, be clear, and be as long-winded or short-handed as you want. Pour your every emotion into this letter. When you’re finished, vow to yourself to let go of those negative thoughts and feelings you had about the person/situation. After all, you just put all that honesty into the letter, there’s no reason to bottle it back up inside. That would just be a bunch of hooey! Now this step, my favorite one, is to destroy it. Rip it up like the Hulk, burn it (safely of course), ball it up and play basketball/tennis/fetch with your dog for hours until it is no longer of interest. Keep your promise to yourself to release this negative energy, so you can make space for better energy. Take your power back for yourself and let your mind dare to dream again.
Free space, twinkling energy, and a super-charged dose of dream courage to you all!